I just finished watching a pretty decent movie, “Click”, with Adam Sandler.
It got me thinking about my life and I wonder if I am running in arcs in my life. I start the first arc from about 17 years old to about 26. I moved out of the house to start a “new” life, partied and started learning how to take good care of myself. Then I got married, end of arc 1. Starting arc 2 marriage was great. Discovering all this new shit as I learned how to get along with another person and not just take care of me. Then time got hard. Life was pushing in. As many tasks as I could keep up with, there was always more on the horizon. They just keep piling up, more and more. More bills, a house falling apart, no help, always working……I cracked. Divorce. Arc over. Arc 3 starts as I learn to again start taking care of myself. I move, I’m happy. I meet Pete. Now, life is starting to push in again. No matter how much we make, we always need more. We have done so much this summer financially and I thought we finally deserved to take a rest. But, as always, life won’t let us. More bills, a house falling apart, always working…..at least I have help and support (sometimes).
I want to know why I always HAVE to go in arcs in my life. I thought life was supposed to change? I thought we were supposed to change? Learn? Grow? I don’t feel like I have grown or changed. Some days I still feel like that scared little 17 year old just starting out and other days I feel like the tired angry almost 40 year old wondering where in the hell life went?
Wow.
