the one where I am legally comitted

**I don't know what is wrong with me. I am seriously thinking it might be time to seek some professional help. I can't seem to sleep more than a couple of hours and then only with the help of both legal and non-legal sleep-aids. I've spent more time than I can count worrying. I worry about everything but the stuff that keeps me up at night is the worrying about things I can't do jack-shit about. I'm too embarrassed to write down my deep dark secret worries. If I think about them too long I will work myself up into a tumultuous panic attack. (and I am out of valium which takes the edge off) I don't understand why I do this to myself. I don't want to and I hate the feelings that go along with these panic attacks.
I was thinking about this last night on my long commute home and started thinking about my job and the dissatisfaction I have with it. After I started making a list of the pros and cons of my job, I seem to have more cons.

If I made a list of the pros and cons of my chosen "career" I think it would be a pretty balanced list item wise. But when you actually read the pros and cons I am pretty sure the cons would outweight the pros. Let's see:

Pros:
1. Helping and saving animals lives.
2. A comfort to the owners of these animals.



Cons:
1. Working with animals who bite, scratch and generally try to maim.
2. Working with animals who shit, piss, vomit and bleed all over you.
3. Having animals die or have to be put to sleep.

**previously written about a month ago and I never finished. I just decided to post as is today.